Nope...No baby.

Dear Dr. B (My OBGYN),
I know that you are far, far away tending to "'family business" in Germany (ya right, more like drinking beer in your lederhosen) but I write to you today to give you several valid reasons for letting your partner, Dr. Fancy Pants (aka Dr. M who wears fancy shoes and is super nice but I like you and your Vans better) work his magic and sign some paper that says it's okay to remove the human alien from Princess Pookie's body (aka me).

Here goes:

1. Paid $40 for a fancy pedicure that I can't see.
2. Have officially grown out of all maternity clothes.
3. Ran out of Tums.
4. The random pain in my butt that literally knocks me to my knees.
5. Because I'm going to have that 8lb. baby you promised me I wouldn't have.
6. I've had to wear the same pair of shoes like 7 days in a row now due to "comfort". As if!
7. My boobs have gone from plums, to peaches, to cantalopes.
8. Because I cried 4 times on my birthday (which was yesterday) for no reason.
9. Have to pee 25 times a day. I can't afford all that toilet paper!
10. Kankles!

Have a safe flight home.
Your favorite patient...
Jo Dee

P.S. Could you bring me home a beer because I think I'm gonna need one!;)


JRiggles said...

I'm so sorry. These are the most longest days of the whole process. The swollen feet, kankle thing is the worst. (sarcastically:Thanks for bringing up those memories. These are things I love reminiscing about....especially the 8lb baby and swollen boobs...yikes!) This only happened with #4.

Sara said...

I can't believe you had to wear the same pair of shoes for that many days in a row.....I sure hope they are cute ones:)

Eat something super spicy......worked for one of my little aliens:)
Can't wait for you to pop this little one out!!!!!