I know that you are far, far away tending to "'family business" in Germany (ya right, more like drinking beer in your lederhosen) but I write to you today to give you several valid reasons for letting your partner, Dr. Fancy Pants (aka Dr. M who wears fancy shoes and is super nice but I like you and your Vans better) work his magic and sign some paper that says it's okay to remove the human alien from Princess Pookie's body (aka me).
1. Paid $40 for a fancy pedicure that I can't see.
2. Have officially grown out of all maternity clothes.
3. Ran out of Tums.
4. The random pain in my butt that literally knocks me to my knees.
5. Because I'm going to have that 8lb. baby you promised me I wouldn't have.
6. I've had to wear the same pair of shoes like 7 days in a row now due to "comfort". As if!
7. My boobs have gone from plums, to peaches, to cantalopes.
8. Because I cried 4 times on my birthday (which was yesterday) for no reason.
9. Have to pee 25 times a day. I can't afford all that toilet paper!
Have a safe flight home.
Your favorite patient...
P.S. Could you bring me home a beer because I think I'm gonna need one!;)